Hey my SoJourners.. Has anyone else been hit with a plot twist recently. I surely have.
Like to hear it, here it go.
I'm not quite sure where to start so i’ll just be blunt. We lost another family member…… actually three!! But one in particular was a gut punch!! Totally unexpected. You know how we have those thoughts…… "We were just talking about planning this" or "we were just laughing about that". Those abrupt past tense. What we were NOT aware of was that it would be a last.
I was really in my feelings about Elder Jones passing. She has seen me grow up. She has corrected me when i needed. She was at every milestone from childhood into adulthood. She was that older auntie figure that showed up but she wasn’t taking any mess. She knew i was spoiled and she was patient with me. We were just starting to have fun and laugh as adults. :-D About that i’m salty. I wrote a post about the other day.
While my family is in celebration mode for Elder Jones i am choosing to celebrate some personal victories during this time.
Stages of Grief
When the news of her passing was official. I was able to help make some calls, hold conversations, etc. It was a FIRST as a clergy member! After that i didn't want to talk about it, i didnt want to see any SM posts, no RIP. no arrangements, NONE OF IT. It was a well placed denial. I knew what was to come and i was preparing myself for it. In moments of great emotion, I was not overwhelmed nor did I suppress the feelings or tears. I was proud of myself to give myself room to cry and wail or whatever when the moment arose. Round of applause for that.
Staying Functional
When we lost Baby Brooklyn a few months back, I just QUIT! I stayed in the bed, wasnt interested in food and was just depressed. Debilitated for a couple days. This time making room for processing and expressing have served me well. I have continued to function in roles and spaces that God has assigned for me. Remaining appropriately functional while being open to experiencing life( and grief) is a balancing act that is new for me. In hindsight… I DID that!! You can clap!! THANKS.
Pause on the Push Through
This one i think is the biggest win…… I was so hyped about my first GracedForThis Event. Dec 10 in Augusta GA. It had come together so beautifully. People were excited to come. Donating items. Ready to network…. Then BOOM. 1, 2, 3 deaths in the family. Now in reality, the event could still happen on the date and time intended, BUT would that be me managing my wellness WELL. Would this kind of pushthrough be good care of myself. Surely not. Just because i could navigate all of these details doesn’t mean its optimal for me.
Yes i believe God said do it.
Yes I believe God orchestrated the details.
Yes i believe Gods plan for this are still perfect.
God is strategic about HIS business. The reality is that Graced for This belongs to HIM. I just manage it :-p So, when He says Go, we GO. When He says pause, we PAUSE. Either way its a WIN!
God cares for every part of me (and you)
The giver
The griever
The go-getter
The rest of the week will be about family and i’ll let God give details on the GFT pivot.
Big love to Elder Geraldine Jones. Here’s a few pics of her serving and smiling!
FYI. The first week of the month we pray and chat based on the GRACE acronym. Here is the link from today. Tap in tomorrow at 7:15am to catch live.
Its hard, but we GOT THIS!!
Love you BIG.
Remember you can shop GracedForThis as a reminder to yourself or other sisters in your circle.
