Questions that truly need answers! How is the official LOVE holiday supposed to work when the Love of your life is gone?
I have been planning for Valentine’s Day for a several weeks. Shout out to my therapist for this amazing article that she authored and shared with me. So many thoughts and ideas have crossed my mind. That event planner brain is something else 🤣🤣.
Fun Fact- we weren’t super big on V Day or any holiday. We made our own days work for us, in lieu of chasing the holiday hype. So making this day memorable this year is solely on me.
Honest moment. The only time I gave myself permission to cry was at his graveside. The Georgia National Cemetery is absolutely beautiful. I think J (husband) set us up with choosing to be buried there. Why do I say that??
He set us up!
1. It’s a 90 min ride!
2. It’s on a mountainous landscape!
3. You can't just pop up, you have to plan to visit!
All that to say, going to visit his graveside gave me quiet time with my thoughts, removed distractions and was a safe (safe according to me) space to cry 😭 however big or small i felt it.
So yeah! Did you catch that 90 min commute …. ONE WAY. And do you know who would get in her car at 8am on a Saturday morning headed to Canton,GA. Yep. You’re right. I sure did. I would go, have my time and track all the way back home. Exhausted and emotionally drained. Spent with nothing left for the day. It would take all of me to do that. And at that time I HAD to do it that way. It was all I gave myself permission for.
But now I’m tapping into my new normal. 🧡 The normal that chooses me before others.
🧡 The normal that considers the why before the how.
🧡 The normal that knows if I don’t choose me neither will others!
I love me some JCM but I didn't spend my weekend on the highway. And it’s ok.
I choose Allegiance to caring for ME over
Allegiance to hubbies graveside.
I will tell you what I did ….. but you‘ll have to wait for the video!
What allegiance are you choosing today?
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Thanks for hanging with me.
I Love you BIG 🧡