Can I Love Me, If I Don't Know Me?

Updated: Mar 4


Why is that when someone ELSE makes a major transition we have to make a transition too?? The immediate example is when a loved one passes away. But what about a change of schools for your kids, a new job for a spouse, a co-workers leaving a position. These are all transitions.


Each day it becomes more clear to me that each one of our stories are connected. It’s not as obvious as we may think. But let some key players in life , love or business tell you they’re leaving… SEE HOW QUICK YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS CHANGES.


But let some key players in life , love or business tell you they’re leaving

We begin to calculate what I need to change, who can pick up who, do I have enough money for that, can I depend on someone else for this. Transition for one person ripples into the lives of those surrounding them. It doesn’t matter how BIG or small. There is a RIPPLE.


When Jerold(J) my amazing dimpled faced husband (Name Credit @kay_deshay) passed



away in Oct 2021. It was the BIGGEST ripple, tidal wave….. tsunami I ever experienced. Honestly the waves were quite gentle in the beginning. The blows weren’t torrential because my entire squad was on duty shielding me from ANYTHING that was coming to knock ya girl down. But in grief, a loss of this magnitude comes with BIG waves. The waves never stop coming.


This transition marked the beginning of choosing me, choosing to care for myself.

Who would have known it would be such a challenge to choose myself! I was off work an entire month, and each day I would try my best to fill my day with some task, agenda or conversation. (Rearranging our master bedroom was the biggest one). ALL of these things were important but honestly they were a distraction from me having to sit in my reality fully. I didn't want to face myself , but that was the only way I could start to care for myself. How you can care for someone you don't know.


I did not know Kenitra the Widow.


I did not know Kenitra the Widow. I don't want to chill with her. I knew the wife, the caregiver, the MK, Daughter, Sister, the SIL, the minister, the co-worker, the Always Sister, the Sister Nurse, the event planner. I knew me through all my allegiances to people, places and things.


In this entire tantrum of being committed to the old me, God made it so very clear that the old me was gone and that He was making me a new Kenitra in Him.





He was making me a new Kenitra in Him

  1. There is a new assignment that He has for me

  2. Allegiance to old thoughts, ways and ideas have ended

  3. My allegiance to HIM alone was necessary for me to stay aligned with His purpose for my life.


As each new day comes and I blossom into who God’s creating me to be, I am reminded, Alignment over Allegiance.


I have to choose Kenitra first. I hope you choose you today as well!


I Love You BIG 🧡


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